just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
