Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
