4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
