I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
