Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
