you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Everyone says I win the strip club
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I think i got beer on your cat.
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