I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
