i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
