At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
