I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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