dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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