After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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