He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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