The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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