Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
