The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
