I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
