but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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