I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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