I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
