there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
