I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
