remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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