It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You can't just leave with hair like that
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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