I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
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My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
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lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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