i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
