from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
