Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
