All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
