i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
