I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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