He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i dont even know how to be here
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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