Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
