I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have tasted many bathrooms
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
