he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
