I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
