Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he puts the penis in happiness.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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