Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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