Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize