Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
