who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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