I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
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Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
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I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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