Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
