nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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