so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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