If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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