Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
