i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
