i don't like sucking hair
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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