the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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