mondays should just be called national damage control day
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
