so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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