Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
