How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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