So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
