i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
