I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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