based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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