I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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