We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
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So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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