My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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